Updated: Apr 1
Comedian Maria Bamford delivered an uncomfortable but hilarious commencement speech at her alma mater, the University of Minnesota. Bamford’s 11-minute truth-telling fest revolved around the taboo topic of how much money the school offered her to make the appearance.
Spoiler alert: It was $0.
Bamford, who received her degree in creative writing, joked about the school’s offer. “Was my alma mater low-balling me?… [Were they] suggesting that I couldn’t get paid for the exact job I paid them to teach me how to get paid to do?”
Bamford says she went to her Business Manager for advice before responding. She describes him as, “A businessman living in West Milwaukee, Wisconsin, an aluminum siding salesman and a 79-year old father of my dear friend Jackie.”
The advice he gave her, while unpolished, deserves a place on the list of money rules to live by:
“Never say ‘no’ without a number.”
Watch the full speech below to hear the results of her “postgraduate course in the art of salary negotiation,” and be sure to remember Bamford’s words next time you receive a less-than-ideal offer!
